Things come and go fast

Without any expectation, things reli change alot recently. But here cum to final solution. I admit that at first, i was too rush in choosing. The sudden changes reli influence alot (which i reli nvr noe the effect is so huge).But nw thing change bak again. Is another shocking thing to my frens again.

I duno hw my fren wil look at us. Feel v r very immature, irresponsible.
But v strongly believe tat wat v made is right. I dun mind hw other look at me. They dun understand us. I dun mind.
True fren will owes around wf us as they noe wat v hav made is right.

From this incident, i reli c alot of thing. can c my frens around. i noe wat they think, wat they do. Get to noe more and understand more. This is life. Life makes ppl change. Ppl learn from the change. Yea..I wan to be tat ppl and i noe I am.

Im very glad tat my frens fully support me. Support my decision.Im reli happy. Everything wil go to b smooth. Everything will go b expected. I jz hope i wil cum to the next happy checkpoint like wat my fren say.

Be Strong

Have been sick for few days.. Fever is on and off..Malaise..Weak.. but i stil try to be tough..dun wan to show to ppl tat im very sick. i dun wan ppl concern alot.

Although sick, stil nid to go to lab to wash seaweeds everyday. Reli a tiring work for me. Ya..again, im active n talkative there trying to 4gt my suffer and bodyache. Dun wan to show to my lab partners tat im not feeling. but im reli tired after lab. totally exhausted.

Being hapi, crazy, and talkative in lab wf frens..but who am i when im alone at home?

i dun talk.
im dw.
im stress.
im struggling.

Lots of things to think, consider adn decide. But thinking of it is a must go road for me in my life.i nid to face it.i stil nid to make a decision for it. No way to escape again. wat can i do? im reli undecided. I nid God to tel me. i nid God to lead me. i nid God to hint me.

I jz wan to be strong enuff to face it.to handle it...

Hope i can do it.

爱真的很简单?

不知多久了
没听到这首歌
爱很简单

刚才突然听到
感到畏惧
不知为何

过去的一切又浮现出来
我思考了一个问题
就是
爱真的很简单?

我得不到答案
心情低落
其实这问题围绕着我好久

看开一点,
我可以的,
我还不想有,
我还好.....

这都是我用来逃避所说的话
希望有一天,有人可以为我解答.....

此刻的心情写照

原本是非常的开心.我已好久没有这感觉了.
但是现在它又回来了.
我不知是什么原因.
每当它重现,真的好辛苦.

我可以做什么呢?

躲在房里?
听伤心的歌?
避开人?
沉思?
发呆?

是的.
以上的全部
都是我会做的

刚看完曼联的球赛
原本应该是兴奋,开心的
我丝毫没有半点这感觉
为什么??

明天我和一群朋友去Seremban 和 Pork Dickson
可能我可以再次找到我的开心果
也可能我会失去所剩下的

陈奕裳..
振作吧!!!

No idea to it lah..

Sem 7 is a research semester. Research needs a proposal. YES.. We need to finish our proposal in 3 weeks time.

How to write a proposal? *Scratching Head*..i reli hav no idea. Basically, a proposal includes introduction, literature review objective, hypothesis and methology.

However, recently i am addicted to Facebook games - Typing Maniac, Pixel Ranger, Biotronic, Restaurant City..everyone is busy playing them. Aim to beat each others record. i end up no time n no mood to write my proposal.

Everyone has started to write so i nid to force myself to concentrate today. i duno hw much i can squeeze them out. Jz let it la..simply do let my supervisor correct it. (may totally get rejected).haha

Fat PIGzz

hw to describe my big and shaking belly??
erm...
yes...WATERMELON..my tummy has upgraded to this level dy..
have been pigging for 7weeks..eat sleep eat...finally today first day of new sem, my trousers nearly stuck at my butt when im trying to pull it up.

wat the.....i noe im getting fatter but i nvr expect myself to hav such HUGE watermelon wf me nw..i choose my biggest size trousers and shirt to wear today..haha.

again...the one who meet me today, wil say..."Alex, u r fatter nw..ur face is rounder now."
yes...im Doreamon now...round and cute le ,rite??haha...can 滚来滚去 (roll here and there).is good oso..i dun nid use much energy to move nw..rolling is faster than walking dy..

haih...duno when can i bak to normal weight again...slowly la...

New semester starts

wow...have been enjoying for 7weeks long break..pigging for this 7 weeks oso..today, bak to the real life again...bak to IMU...

tis sem is a research semester..there is no more exam for me..in other words, it shud b
no more stress again..
no more burning midnight oil..
not more scratching my head till i got alopecia..
not more white hairs growing out..
no more insomnia..
no more study under stress..

but all these are just assumptions-just MAYBE.

there are proposal preparation, proposal presentation, lab work, thesis writing and presentation for this sem..

anyhow, again and again..i will dun k. PLAY is stil my main motto of life..
fooling aroung wf frens
hanging out wf frens
jz wanna enjoy my uni life till fullness.

GOOD LUCK ALEX...
hope u can go thru sem 7..haha..

New sem is going to start soon........

Haih...mix feeling...

When i jz bak to hometown, i feel very boring..i blogged abt my siennezz...

A month later, the class is going to start soon..i dun feel like going bak..

I have been used to the PIG life here..being laziness, siennezz..

Haih...i nid to accept la...enjoy the remaining holiday to fullness...

Kuching Trip - (12/6-16/6)

I was too sien at home. Spontaneously, sth cum to my mind..Kuching.I was following my cousin to Kuching by car..She drove. Together wf us r one of her fren and one of my nephew. 1145am of 12/6, v started our journey. It tooks 6 hrs drive to reach.

Immediately i reached my cousin, my little cousin, Alan brought me out to meet his friends-Bernard,Wei Qiang and my cousin's gf. V decide to watch movie *Hanah Montana*. I was very hungry. We went to McD b4 movie. The movie is nice. Miley Cyrus sings alot. Stunning for me..I feel tat i fall in love to her songs. After tat, v went to Top Spot Food Court which is located on top of a multifloor carpark.

Day2, V woke up early at 7am. After breakfast at Si Chung Chung Coffee shop (Kuching nicest Teh Ice), Bernard drove us to Bako. Bernard cant follow coz he nid to study. After gathered the information at the counter, v r informed tat a boat wf number of 6-9 wil be cheaper. V r oni 3. So i decided to stand at the counter to ask if anyone wanna follow us. God bless.A family followed us. V rent a boat. After Bargaining wf the baotman, v get the cheapest price. (cannot tel the Bako Management oooo). It is too big there. V do not plan to stay overnitew there. So, i decided not to hike but ride on the boat to the view points.

After the trip, i get serious sunburnt..but i like it..i can get tanned..hahaha..crazy is it???

Bako Entrance when the boat jz arrived

Bako Headquarter

Tanjung Pandan Kecil ( Face rock)

狮子口


i think it at least 50meters high





Pulau Lakei

Day3, a boring day..cousin went to the farm..i dun wan follow..pigging whole day at home..luckily at nite, Wei qiang, Bernard, Alan, his gf n me go a Philipino Cafe..Eat Phillipine Pig leg...hahaha..amazing le..i oso ordered a Pork Burger wf cheese and eggs as add-on.Not bad. After tat, Susan finds me. Her fren-Yin drove a Celica cum..Shock me..V went to a park to walk then to Bing Coffee Cafe..Its concept is same as Starbuck..but this shop is 100% Made in Kuching.

Day 4, not many activities..jz following cousin go few shopping mall in Kuching. Susan following.haha..but is tiring day for me..shopping reli much more tiring than hiking.

Day 5, balik luuuu..I took express boat bak sibu..have sunbathing at the top of the boat in the south china sea..not bad oso.

Everything cum to a full stop...thanks a lot to my cousins, wei qiang, bernard...

Sien-nezzzz

Bak home for 10 days already...i think i use to the PIG life..sleep early at 10pm n wake up at 7am. food is ready served. the oni thing tat i nid to do is jz moved to the plc whr the food is n open my mouth to eat.

This week i hav my hospital attachment at Sibu Hospital with 2 pretty gals- Winnie and Susan.

Again one word to describe. Sienzz.. Free aircon, free talk, free sample, free food. these r the ones i think i get benefits from.hahaha... But actually is not tat bad. V owes ask the Penolong Pharmasi got anything v can help.. V packed med, read label, help to fill med. One thing interesting, i have learn to run the TDM machine. Yeah.. is nice.. tat old machine (can be antique in the museum lo) produces lots of sound but it stil can does its job..stil not bad ma..

Attended few talks, presentation of case studies..learnt a lot from there..reli hope can attend more..

The thing i do the most in the attachment is chit chat wf winnie n susan. V tok nonstop. watever oso v can tok. sumtime even no topic to continue. v try to squeeze anything to tok. reli funny..

Hope v can continue enjoying. but my sien-nezz stil wf me..bak home..first thing i do is on my laptop..at least i feel there is sth wf me..haih...WHY?? WHY?? my life like tat....

Move on

The more I know, the easier for me to let go. Yea..this applies to me. I owes tel myself i have to move on, but the progress is slow. However, everytime once i know sth more, i wil pain n sad a while but after that i can move further more.

Last nite i out wf my old fren studying in UMS. I admit i reli wan to ask them more abt her thing over there. I keep reminding myself i cannot do so. I need to move on. I make it. We dun touch that topic at all. I tot it reli over.

Today i get to know sth again. Again it is hurt n pain again. I cant escape from knowing it. I found that, althought the things that i heard are hurt, i dun hav strong feeling again. Is this the sign that tat i hav let go? Erm..mayb. I hope so.

During the time i get those news, a song appears in my mind. '我爱的人'

她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她 真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人 不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸 都属于另一个人
她真幸福 幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨 她的爱怎么那么深

This song totally suits me.

However, its time for me to continue to move on.

Ron tel me tat i shud not get the new one just to forget the old one. Is unfair. People wil hate me.
I agree. I wil let everything go soon. I wil be myself again. Nth is impossible. This is life.

So what...I CAN DO it. Yeeaaah!!

Emptiness

The moment reach Sibu, i feel reli empty. reli down.

I miss the trip a lot.
I miss my friends a lot.
I miss the laughter.
I miss the joy.
I miss the pain and gain that v went thru.
I miss every moment of the trip.

It takes time for me to recover.

Sem 6 Trip

After Sem 6 EOS, 21 of us went to Sabah. 1st station is Sandakan then only to Kota Kinabalu.

• 1st , have to thank our organizer- Grace. She organized it so well that even in Sandakan, she arranged the transports and fed us like pig.
• 2nd, have to thank to Grace’s parent. They paid our every meal. V r reli guilty. The seafood Bak Kuh Teh, seafood restaurant, dan gong mee at sim sim, egg tart, lou sai café, ice dessert.
• 3rd, have to thank to See san and her parent. I stayed at her place. Aircon owes on. Tv owes on. Food n drink owes ready. Washing machine is ready for us oso. Thanks for see san’s mum to bring us to hav 2 rounds of breakfast. Feeding us a pig again. See san ta bao cheese tart, egg tart..reli nice..
• 4th, Vanessa lim. She bcum our driver. Drive here n there. She reli a nice gal to tok to..nice to mix wf. Thanks a lot.
• 5th, san jin. He provided transport and plc to stay. Thanks a lot too.

After 3D2N in SDK, v all went to KK.

• Staying at summer lodge, tour around KK, KK country side, kudat, kundasang with the bus. Whole bus is urs. Reli wonderful.
• Great experience of water rafting. Sitting in the trolley (wil upload the photo later), transporting wf Sabah KTM. Water rafting reli an unforgettable event. dropping into the rapid river, paddling in the boat with strong current, ‘swimming’ wf yee lyn in the strong rapid (v unable to get into the boat b4 the next rapid).
• Mount KK is the most fantastic one for the trip. V climbed in rain. Even climb to the peak in rain. V forced our guide to let us to climb although the guides had cancelled it due to heavy rain. 12 of us managed to reach the LOW PEAK’s of mount KK. Extremely cold.1°C .strong wind. Slippery rock. The feeling in the progress of climbing to the peak is such amazing.

19 may 2009 .the trip end. Hope there will be next trip again.

暂时的

暂时性的松了一口气。四天的拼战，精力的耗费，精神的折磨，时间的拼搏，压力的逼迫，睡眠的不足。终于到了休息站了，松一松，歇一歇。

所有人都在今天考试完后，各自安排活欢乐时光来补偿所失去的时间，精神，精力。不去做这是的人，一定是不正常的（没有任何讽刺的成分）。

今天我完全的没有把我MSK notes拿出来。我觉得是一件好事。我要开心。不想离开这短暂且让人如释重负的休息站。重新面对残酷的现实。

我也希望这短暂的开心可以使我好的开始。人总要学着成长。人生的历练是在所难免的，不在乎开心或不开心，但求它可以成为你成长中的一部分，决不后悔你所做的决定。想起一首歌，“是你决定我的伤心”。另一首歌写着：‘是你带我找到另一个天堂，远比想象中的美’。真的是你吗？？？？还是我自己？？？

今天过得不错。不是很充足，但还蛮踏实的。做了我要做的事。哈哈哈。。我觉得会变得个充实但我写完这日记。已经12.41am 咯。一天的结束，也是另一天的开始，另一个新希望。

好了。。到了尾声。夜幕低垂，人烟也静。回带被窝去咯！！！

又怎样呢？

赶考完一张难的试卷，又怎样呢？明天还得面对另一张。
心情低落，又怎样呢？还是要睡觉。
没胃口，又怎样呢？还是有饥饿难耐的时候。
重压力，又怎样呢？还是得面对。
伤心，又怎样呢？还是得强忍。
失眠，又怎样呢？还是得逼自己睡。
天热，又怎样呢？还是得对着它苦笑。

还有

失去她，又怎样呢？还是得过日子。

怎么办？

这时候，大家应该是在做最后的冲刺。而我呢？？我也是吧！

但，心情却是复杂的。分分钟钟，我不停的告诉自己，要考试了，我应该没有时间去想。我还是控制不了，脑海里不停的出现我和她的画面。

无助的我，向天呐喊也不是，低头哭泣也不是。

希望胆小（有位朋友-美人说我胆小，不敢面对现实）的我可以再坚强一点，钢硬一点，勇敢一点，潇洒一点，踏出这一步。

另一个朋友-Chocey说过要看到真实的我。一个可以真的从内心发笑出来的我。我可以吗？我也希望我可以。

将一切交托给主。他会为我预备一切。

我的眼泪也可以笑吗？

我希望我也可以做到这点。
从眼泪笑了这首歌，看到了一些，学到了一些，懂了一些。
他的歌词是：

比想象中更痛 你真的没回头
我命令眼泪不许失控
回忆不跟你走 都挤在我心中
我就有责任让它值得被珍重

谢谢你曾让我难过
谢谢我没有想太多
当爱情左盼右顾的时候

我眼泪都笑了 谁还想哭呢
再勇敢的站着 找回光和热
面对你的时候 我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客 因为路有些曲折
是美的

你眼泪都笑了 谁还会哭呢
来不及完美的 就唱首骊歌
想起你的时候 我不是卑微的
反而我没有遗憾 因为我已爱过你
深深的
心碎成了沙漠 就快开凿绿洲
我没有时间不知所措
你温柔的双手 本就不属于我
又何必在乎它以后属于谁呢

一切成了定局！！！

当你知道了，又能怎样呢？一切成了定局。

虽然心痛（真的非常的痛），我也只能默默地接受。

不懂我还可以忍多久，我怕我将要崩溃！

祝福她

蜕变

反复的看Susan Boyle 在Britains Got Talent 2009 那惊天地的表演。。。

无数次的看，就有无数次的感动。眼泪不听使唤的落下。这就是有感而发。从心里涌出来。

Susan Boyle 为这世界带来了一片曙光。她那天使般的声音，那股天真的气质，深深地吸引着我。

神创造了世界，也赐下了最美好的给他儿女。
感慨人间充满着一切美好的恩赐，只等待在某时把它挖掘出来， 让世人一起分享。你我也一样。把我们最隐秘的绝世功力好好的发挥出来。天生我才必有用。。。。。。。。。。

一起分享：
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Girl and Guy

Today I talked to one of my close friend. We discussed abt her thinking and also my thinking as well. We argued for long time.

Why guy owes so rush in doing thing? Why guy cannot wait for gal as guy should know tat gals owes slow and like to tok? Why guys owes give so many excuses to defend for themselves? I was like…bombarded by so many Q, I started my “typical guy” pattern (said by my friend), trying to argue for guys. Bcoz I feel that, guys have their own right also.

During arguing, I cum out wf a issue tat, no matter wat, there is no right and wrong between gal and guy. It depends on hw both gal and guy to tolerant to each other. Personally, I feel tat tolerance is a very wide knowledge for us to learn. As a close fren, v oso need to tolerant and try to accept ur best fren’s weakness. Tis is called 接受，包容.From a quote “"tolerance is not just agreeing with one another or remaining indifferent in the face of injustice, but rather showing respect for the essential humanity in every person."

Coming to next topic, PRIDE..wat is pride? Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals. Is it right?? Pride is a personal commitment. It is an attitude which separates excellence from mediocrity. Correct?? Again it is related to guy and gal. my fren said that, gal wil try to have higher pride when together wif guy. The reason should be she dun wan lose to the guy and let the guy bullies her.Ya.i personally agreed that. Acceptable pride (although we duno hw to measure pride) is needed for self improvement.

I was questioned for my over expressed pride..of coz again, I defend for myself again. But actually I realized this issue long time ago, I even self-reflecting myself regarding this issue..im trying to change and improve some of my weaknesses.

At the end of the conversation, I was touched and very happy. I thanked my tat fren a lot. Bcoz tat fren pointed out my weakness which I have been asking tat fren for so many times to tel me that..today I get it. In this world, no one is perfect. Everyone will make mistake. But that person wil not know his/her own mistake or problem until other points it out. V should owes learn from the mistake v made.

Finally, I jz wan to thank my tat fren again..thanks a lot..

第一次

读了许多朋友的 BLOGs，突然有一个想法。为什么我不自己也有一个属于我个人的 BLOG呢？终于决定在这时候（应该是眉头苦读的时候），抽出我偷懒的时间来献出我的第一次。第一次永远是最单纯的，天真的。我希望可以持之以恒，希望我的BLOG可以继续维持下去，希望我的第一次也是一个好的开始。

其实我想拥有一个BLOG 可以把我的想法，个人的日记，朋友间有意义的回忆，活动，一一的抒写出来。

不知如何继续下去，精彩的内容会陆续的出现。 我的第一次就像一个初生的小婴孩，希望它可以茁壮的成长。